Looking Back At Me
01/01/10


New Year’s Day….I’m tired today… January 1st. As I lounge inside where it is warm and cozy, finishing off the leftovers from the holiday meal, I am also anxious…not in a bad way....more like excited…to begin anew.


Winter -- hibernation--New Year’s Day...I feel like writing again.


So....Today it is…


Time to write (again)!...The poet/lyricist stays isolated again today, writing more melancholy verses…


The poem I shared yesterday came from heartache…loss of loved ones—it is actually a documentation of many sad, long drives home from the nursing home visits with my parents in their later days.


Today's poem was inspired a while back by a phone call to my brother to wish him a happy birthday. He said it was strange when he heard my voice because I sounded just like our mom. I thought he sounded so much like our dad. We shared some laughs as we commented on how we are becoming so much like them. That led to...


Looking Back At Me
(written by Lorraine Brown/copyright 2008)


I thought I heard her voice today,
I thought she called my name,
Like a melody, a familiar tune just steps away,
As each year passes I see more of her in me,
In little things I do or say.


My brother said I sounded just like her on the phone,
I laughed and said I see her in the mirror,
He chuckled and he sounded just like dad,
Then we cried together as we wished they were still here.


Mom’s antics and humor made everyone laugh,
Dad would giggle at his own jokes and his made up words,
We tell the stories again and again,
As if they’ve never been heard.


It’s our way of holding onto
The precious times we knew,
Guarding these moments, we hang on tight,
Clinging to the memories, preventing them from flight.


Their laughter, their voices, their joy, their songs,
The sounds of their lives are for which we long,
And though we are missing them with all our hearts,
There is nothing that can tear our bond apart.


For I thought I heard her voice today,
I thought she called my name,
Like a melody, a familiar tune just steps away,
As each year passes I see more of her in me,
In little things I do or say.


I thought my brother sounded just like dad on the phone,
He laughed and said he sees him in the mirror,
I chuckled and he said I sounded just like mom,
Then we cried together as we wished they were still here.








The 31st of Deepslumber! (December 31, 2009 )


My Multi-dimensional life!


They say, find your passion and that will lead you in the way in which you should go…pursue what you love…etc. What if you have multiple passions with limited time to explore them all?


So many interests…where do I begin?


I tell myself...just begin~ someday is now...actually, someday was yesterday!
But it's never too late. So... today I'll begin to explore the possibilities.


It’s the 31st of Deepslumber! (December 31, 2009)…


TODAY IT IS...


Time to write…The poet/lyricist inside wants to stay isolated...writing her melancholy verses.


A LONG HARD YEAR (written by Lorraine Brown -Collection One/ copyright 2005)

It's been a long, hard year -
When she thinks about what’s happened,
It’s so hard not to cry,
Mamma in a nursing home,
Daddy passed away – he said he wanted to die.


She’d go home to visit -
She thinks about those times,
She and mamma stayed up talking late into the night,
She knew that she could count on her to tell her what was right.


She remembers daddy -
Working around the house, so strong and full of pep,
The youth on both their faces,
The spring in both their steps.


Then the road took a different turn,
And mamma lost her voice,
The stroke left her speechless,
She didn’t have a choice.


Daddy lost his will to live,
When mamma fell apart,
His strength turned into weakness,
He died of a broken heart.


A long drive home and she’s half way there,
Before she realized,
That she’d been crying this whole time,
She wipes the tears from her eyes.


A year now since daddy died,
The grieving just takes time,
No words are left,
But none are needed,
All was said in time.


Now her visits with her mamma
Are quiet in that place,
Yet mamma smiles and claps her hands,
When she sees her baby’s face.


Even though mamma’s words are gone,
They live on in her baby’s heart,
They’ll remain with her forever,
She and mamma will never part.


Yes, mamma smiles and claps her hands when she see’s her baby’s face,
These special little moments cannot be replaced,
Deep inside she understands that she and mamma will never part,
Mamma, can you hear me? I love you with all my heart!

(Dedicated to my loving mother Anne who went home to be with the Lord on Christmas Eve, 2006.)