Sunday, May 8, 2011

Her Hands







My mom had a recipe book

she had written (by hand)...









A collection of her favorite recipes which she intended for me to have. Over the years, it disappeared…perhaps during one of our moves. I looked tirelessly for it, hoping it would pop up, but it didn’t.

Recently, I was telling my cousin, Diane about it and she mentioned that my mother had sent her a few hand written recipes.  She said still had them and said that she was going to photocopy them and mail me the originals. A couple of days later, they arrived... I was extremely touched by the thoughtfulness and love of my dear cousin...



Cousin Diane's note to me



As I opened the envelope, I sat with tear-filled eyes, holding my mother’s recipe cards in my hands, and feeling like a part of her was still with me. 

I held the paper she held

I studied the crafting of each letter in her penmanship…in the way she swirled her capital L; the way she blended the letters together in an artistic script, unique to her as she formed each word with pen on paper, in an articulate manner…such that when I read her words, I can hear her voice…the cadence in which she spoke; the tone; the softness; the upbeat and joyful spirit in which she communicated; the humor she interjected. I can see her smile when I read her sassy; witty side notes which bring back the memory of that sparkle in her eyes …that little sense of mischief…playfulness that she never failed to entertain us with.



Mom's comments on the back of one of her recipe cards!




(As you can see below, she "no likie" sage...
and apparently, I was one of the 5 little piggies)  :) ...





There is a little spot of something here at the top of the card...

it looks like a drop of an ingredient or a little bit of gravy…



The smudge just confirms that this recipe was used and enjoyed throughout the years…and passed along now to me and to others.

 Oh, how I wish I could smell the gravy on this note!


My heart is warmed by the thought of times spent in the kitchen together while I measured ingredients and placed them side by side for my mom to incorporate into her wonderful creations. I can see her stirring, whipping, rolling dough, forming meatballs, sautéing onions and garlic for spaghetti sauce, placing roasts in the oven, removing the stew meat from the pressure cooker, frying bacon and eggs and measuring coffee into her percolator.  I recall the comforting mornings of waking up smelling the wonderful aroma of that coffee and oh, yes, the bacon sizzling and wafting throughout house, waking me from my morning slumber…......no alarm clock needed! 

These notes... 

represent even more depth of meaning to me because toward the end of my mother's life, a stroke robbed her of her words…she could no longer speak, but she would smile and clap her hands every time I went to visit…a huge blessing that she always recognized me!  She would light up when I entered the room, wiggling her toes, clapping her hands and smiling and laughing , her entire body filled with excitement!

I’m reminded by her written word of how full of life she was….and I have tangible pieces of conversations here to hold in my hands; to press to my heart; to cherish…


and to taste

as I savor each morsel of her recipes…

for food…and for life!


In her words ...  



;) 

Her hands…

Held me tenderly the moment I arrived,                                                      

Nourished me and nurtured me,
 
As she welcomed me to life…

Her hands…

Bathed; clothed and fed me;

Held my little hand and led me;

Taught me how to write….

Turned the pages of the books she read to me each night,

Folded as she prayed

And clapped for my school plays;                   

Her hands…

Like magic, turned patterns into clothes

And knitted slipper socks;

They softly styled waves into my curly locks,

Felt my forehead for a fever and rubbed Vick's onto my chest,

And wiped my nose and held me close and softly caressed….

When I skinned a knee,

They bandaged me

And carried me back home,
                                     
And never left my side…

I never felt alone;

Her hands

Cooked my favorite foods,                 

And baked my favorite pies,

And when I was hurt or sad
 
They wiped the tears from my eyes;

Her hands drew pretty pictures,

In fact they crafted art,

And they touched me with a mother’s love

As they held this child's heart!
                                                              
Now I look down at my hands

And I'm amazed to see...

Her hands

Seem to have re-appeared,

As they live on....

In me!   

(written by Lorraine Brown, copyright 2011)                                                 


H A P P Y   M O T H E R' S   DAY!


Other Poems of Remembrance
You May Also Like:                 A Tribute To Mom          Looking Back At Me



 The legacy she leaves behind,

Is one of kindness and delight,

She loved the life she lived,

And she lived it right!

So when I see a shadow,

Dancing in the wind,

I remember momma's spirit,

And the joyful life she lived!

(excerpt from "Annie's Shadow"; written by Lorraine Brown)






Tuesday, April 26, 2011

MUSIC IN THE AIR

I was so inspired today by my friend Janette's post that I wanted to share it with you.

She shared a link to a music project around the world where pianos are on display, adorned with artwork and placed randomly throughout cities and countries...
calling people to sit and play...
the project name:

 "PLAY ME I'M YOURS!"

You will find Janette's link just below my poem...along with the link to "Play Me I'm Yours"

She had commented to me that she wished I could have been there to enjoy the creativity of this wonderful music project and perhaps I would have been moved to write a poem about it. 

Janette...the images of your family playing the pianos all over the city, and photos of others around the world were beautiful. 

I could imagine the music reaching toward heaven from every corner of the earth...giving praise!  You inspired me to write this poem!  ...


Music In The Air                    
(written by Lorraine Brown copyright 2011)

A melody like a gentle breeze

Whispering softly in my ear

I hear…

The magic of the keys

A distant sound of harmony…

But where?


A sudden change of plans this day,

My steps are turned a different way…

On a quest to find the music in the air;

Running toward the tempo 

The crescendo leads me there…


Then I see…

In parks and markets,

On bridges and ferries,

Roadsides and city streets,

Pianos adorned and calling my name,

Come play the ivories... come play!


Like sounds of heaven on earth,

In concert

The world unified,

Reaching out, reaching up, far and wide!


Let creation resonate

In harmony with God...

Sing in praise to heaven with your gifts,

Reach the world with the beauty from your fingertips!


Song in motion rings

Every nation sings

Echoing in concert  everywhere…

Sharing in the splendor of

THE MUSIC IN THE AIR!

- - - - -

I hope you have a minute to view Janette's post and be inspired to use your own creative gifts!
http://janettessage.blogspot.com/2011/04/we-were-part-of-history.html

"Play Me I'm Yours in New York was described by the press as the latest major artwork since The Gates by Christo and Jeanne-Claude and The Waterfalls by Olafur Eliasson." 
http://www.streetpianos.com/






Sunday, April 10, 2011

LOOKING BACK AT ME



April is National Poetry Month


 
 Not only was it a thrill to hear that my poem,

"Looking Back at Me"

was awarded first place in the Highland Park poetry challenge, but also to hear that during the month of April, it would be displayed in the storefront of a
super cool new boutique...

"So Shee"

Last friday, April fool's day, I was invited to join the other winners in reading my poem for the poetry reading group. After confirming that this was not an April fool's joke, I humbly accepted the honor and privately danced like nobody could see! 


We then had an open mic in which all participants could share up to six of their poems with the crowd.  Jennifer Dotson organizes this wonderful group of poets. She is an award winning poet and an amazingly talented writer.  It has been an honor and a delight to get to know her as well as the other accomplished writers! 

Here I am with Michelle Burden 
in front of her fabulous boutique,
So Shee 


And here is my poem
displayed in Michelle's storefront...



There was even greater meaning to this entire experience,

as this poem was inspired by an actual conversation I had with my brother. After we said goodbye, I immediately sat down and wrote this poem.


When I saw "Looking Back At Me" in Michelle's window, there was just enough of a reflection from the sun to cause quite a bit of interference with the photos....but,


 the reflection was a gift ...


because at that moment, I stood reading my poem

 with my own reflection looking back at me...

and once again I saw my mom!
 

I thought about the impact that my parents made on my brother and I and I quietly said,


mom...dad...this is for you!


I was blessed big time!!!


May we all reflect on the memories we hold dear and cherish the many ways they speak to our deepest hearts!



Happy National Poetry Month!












 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Live in Color





Do you ever feel like you are viewing life
in black and white... 

but you hope that you just might
wake up

and see the world in a brand
new light?









That's how I felt today.  My innermost heart has been groaning for springtime weather to arrive.  March felt like a very long month...of cold, frozen mud!  My mood began to feel like I was stuck in the mire.


This morning, I awakened to bright sunshine, birds singing and children playing outside my window!  I thought...could it possibly be warm enough for the children to be running freely and the birds to  be sharing such a happy song?!


For a moment, I imagined that I'd pull back the curtains and see summertime...Perhaps I've been hibernating and  unaware; all the doldrums are now gone and in an instant, the air is fresh, warm, and fully alive! 
Ahhhh, if only! 


But the view outside my window revealed that it's not time yet. 


"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
and certain of what we do not see."
(Hebrews 11:1)

As the sunshine massaged my shoulders during my afternoon stroll, the colors of nature appeared more vivid to me than yesterday!  I felt as if God was giving me new eyes to see. Yesterday, everything was brown and gray.  Today, the brown tones of the lawns were turning just a bit green, and while the trees are still bare, there was slightly more color all around me.  Daffodils are struggling to emerge from beneath the surface, but I saw the tiny sprouts.  Soon, a landscape of the vivid colors of nature will be dancing before my eyes. Yes, a full spectrum of color!!! 

I thought of the wizard of Oz....the movie begins in black and white....but as Dorothy crosses over into the land of Oz, the brick road becomes a
bright yellow...like streets of gold!  She awakens, surrounded by technicolor fields of splendor!


In my little world,

It's April....

but still feels like March....


as if I'm in a fever induced black and white silent movie slumber.  

yet....I feel a burst of color ready to explode onto the scene...

just around the corner!




Until then, one day at a time...



I watch the transformation and I sigh at the promise of a future!




"His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour, The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flower."
(William Cowper)



Monday, March 28, 2011

AS THE WILLOW WEEPS



Tall trees grounded,

firm foundation,

roots stable in the earth's floor -

fierce winds

snatch tossing limbs,

as they break from the solid core.



fixed branches...

reach for the sun -

praising heaven, open wide...

springtime showers have begun,

outstretched fingers grasp for life!

 


now the willow hangs its head,

docile limbs weighed down,

yielding to the ground,

as if all hope is dead.





 "No! Not So!" - the red bird sings!

 think of pure and lovely things!

sweet as the kiss of the morning dew,

and the warmth of the sun embracing you...




have faith dear willow - do not cry,

or hide your face from grace...

have faith that spring will soon arrive,

and heaven's breath 

brings forth new life! 

                                                    

the time is near ~ we can expect...
                                                                      
though birthing pains persist...            
                       
remember this...

our eyes are not on what is seen...

As the willow weeps for spring!

(written by Lorraine Brown, copyright 2011)





Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Happy Hearts Lemon Torte Cake!


Cheesecake Factory's Lemoncello Cream Torte




"Through the heart's wound, I see it's secret"
(Bernard of Clairvaux)


As my family celebrates the birthday of my older brother, we are rejoicing in many ways! Lemon Torte has always been his favorite cake and "the" cake he requests for his birthday every year. This luscious cake tastes better as each year passes, because...

Five years ago, my brother’s heart was attacked…stopped! He had what is commonly called “the widow maker”.

He collapsed in his family room. My sister-in-law called 911 and fortunately, the paramedics were there in a couple of minutes. After five shocks, they managed to re-start his heart, then rushed him to the hospital where the doctor was standing by to receive him and place a stent into his major artery. His life had been saved but…he was in a coma. The team of doctors who were attending said they could not tell us if he would wake up, and if he did he could potentially have brain damage.

After three days of waiting, wondering and fervent prayer, not only did he awaken, but he immediately recognized each of our faces and was talking! I can’t explain the feeling of joy which flooded that ICU room! At first we discovered that he did have some short term memory loss, but soon he was 100% back!

He surprised us on that third day when his eyes popped open! We joke and say he rose from the dead! He’s a miracle! In fact the doctor called him “miracle man” and said, “if he had ever any inclination to play the lottery, he should probably do so”!

I’m amazed at God’s grace which blanketed all of us during that time because as this was all going on, my mother had also been admitted to the hospital…just one floor up! She had been failing for some time (complications from heart disease) and her body was giving out. During their stay, we would take turns visiting the two of them and wore a path from my brother's ICU room to my mother's room upstairs.

Just after my brother’s release from the hospital, my mom’s doctor said there was no more they could do for her and hospice was recommended. Four days later, on Christmas Eve, she passed away. My sister-in-law, my brother and I stood by her side those last days; the three of us, holding onto each other for support. We were able to tell her everything we desired; thanking her for being the best mom in the world and for creating memories for us that will live forever, making our lives beautiful and happy.

We were able to stand together and say goodbye to our
precious mother. Our hearts bonded even more so in this time of grief as the one who gave us life now took her last breath.

It was bittersweet in several ways. Christmas would forever be a different experience for us all; both of our parents were now gone (end of an era); Bruce was still in recovery mode, but thank God that he had his memory! We do have the sweet assurance that we will all be together again on glory’s side! Sweet also that my brother’s life had been spared…his heart had been saved! Yet he said he felt like a piece of it was missing as a piece of my own heart was also...mom! Yes, bittersweet!

I was overcome with emotion when I thought that I had almost lost my brother along with my mom. I don’t think I could have stood to bear it. My gratitude still overwhelms me.

When March rolled around, my family gathered to celebrate Bruce's life! This special birthday was a wonderful celebration for all of us with more meaning than words can describe, but captured each time we look into each others eyes!

Today is Bruce's birthday again...and we celebrate once more!

How happy I am to celebrate you today, brother! I celebrate your resilience, faith, strength, your devotion to family, your healthy memory, your life, your heart! How blessed we are to be able to "remember" together!

Life is filled with second chances...and joy truly can replace the pain!


And...through it's wound, we see it's secret!


Brother, I'm so glad your heart was saved!

I'm sorry the miles have kept me from being there this year to help you devour your all-time favorite cake...but (for some reason) ;) I was craving it today...so I stopped at cheesecake factory for a slice to go. I'll be thinking of you with every bite...and I know you will enjoy every bite of your very own, favorite Lemon Torte Cake! You deserve it!!  Happy Birthday to you!!!


A contented heart...with every bite...loving lemon torte!







Saturday, March 19, 2011

Who's Knocking?!




The Door of My Heart
                                                                                    (by Lorraine Brown, copyright 2011)

It was gentle
As if no-one was there,
Subtle…
Yet I heard it…
Tap, tap, tap,
And then
Again…
Another gentle tap on my front door ~
Quickly
I ran to capture it before it escaped,
Hoping to see something there…
Someone standing at my threshold…
But it was gone…
Whatever it was…
As quickly as it came.
I felt the wind rushing underneath the door -
I saw leaves whirling four feet high,
A broken tree limb on the stoop…
It was just the March wind blowing in.
I returned to my chair, raised my book again…
And then once more…
Tap, tap, tap –
This time more quickly than before.
I rushed to the window,
To see…
Inside my wreath…
Three hearts being tossed to and fro,
Colliding against one another and then against the windowpane,
As if to say…
Please let us in!

Relieved that I discovered the source,
I returned to my book…
I smiled when I turned to page eight...
which began with...

“The centrality of the heart”! 
“ Come to me, Lord. Reveal yourself to my heart”!

 

Then the Lord said,

 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and dine with him and he with me."
(Revelation 3:20) 



I scrambled to find a poem I had read long ago…
It is a powerful representation of
 The Gentleman who is knocking on the door of our hearts…
His longing for admission…
Calling to us and waiting for our answer :


"'Friend, open to Me.'
--Who is this that calls?
Nay, I am deaf as are my walls;
Cease crying, for I will not hear
Thy cry of hope or fear.

'Others were dear,
Others forsook me':

What art thou indeed
That I should heed
Thy lamentable need?
Hungry should feed,
Or stranger lodge thee here?

'Friend, My Feet bleed.
Open thy door to Me and comfort Me.'

I will not open, trouble me no more.
Go on thy way footsore,
I will not rise and open unto thee.

'Then is it nothing to thee? Open, see
Who stands to plead with thee.
Open, lest I should pass thee by, and thou
One day entreat My Face
And howl for grace,
And I be deaf as thou art now.
Open to Me.'

Then I cried out upon him: Cease,
Leave me in peace:
Fear not that I should crave
Aught thou mayst have.
Leave me in peace, yea trouble me no more,
Lest I arise and chase thee from my door.
What, shall I not be let
Alone, that thou dost vex me yet?

But all night long that voice spake urgently:
'Open to Me.'

Still harping in mine ears:
'Rise, let Me in.'

Pleading with tears:
'Open to Me that I may come to thee.'

While the dew dropped, while the dark hours were cold:
'My Feet bleed, see My Face,
See My Hands bleed that bring thee grace,
My Heart doth bleed for thee,
Open to Me.'

So till the break of day:
Then died away
That voice, in silence as of sorrow;
Then footsteps echoing like a sigh
Passed me by,
Lingering footsteps slow to pass.
On the morrow
I saw upon the grass
Each footprint marked in blood, and on my door
The mark of blood forevermore."
(Christina Georgina Rossetti's poem: Despised And Rejected)
~


He's at the door now…the door of our hearts…


tap, tap, tap…















Monday, March 7, 2011

Grandma Jesse's Real "Scotch" Shortbread



Scottish Shortbread…I’ve always called it Scotch shortbread because that was what my grandma called it.  At least that's what I thought she said through her thick brogue.



Ever since I can remember, shortbread has not only been a holiday tradition, but a family favorite year round. My grandma Jesse brought her family recipe with her from Scotland many years ago. She prepared it with her magic touch year after year, using the purest of ingredients, including caster sugar and rice flour. She mixed the ingredients gently with her hands, careful not to overwork the dough, then baked it at a low temperature until just slightly golden.        


While our family recipe is a classic recipe
consisting of flour, sugar and butter,  
(I like to add vanilla)...there are several variations of shortbread and shortcakes form different regions of Scotland, going back to medieval times. Refined shortbread is said to be accredited to Mary, queen of Scots in the 16th century ~
she named the most traditional, triangular shaped wedges “petticoat tails".  Shortbread was expensive then so it was reserved for special occasions such as Christmas, New Years Eve, and weddings.


My first kilt






As a wee lassie,
I was very excited to wear the kilt Grandma Jesse brought back for me when she went back to Scotland for a visit!

I’m intrigued by my Scottish heritage and fascinated at the history of our cote of arms (family crest) and tartan (plaid). I’m also delightfully amused by men in kilts ~ and thankful that I was never a “Scottish Bride” as Grandma told me that it was a tradition to break a decorated shortbread cake over the head of a bride at the entrance of her new house for good luck!


my Mom and Grandma Jesse...
playing for the camera!
maybe grandma was trying to drag her to the traditional shortbread ceremony?!

I loved listening to Grandma Jesse’s stories as she reminisced about (what she called) “the old country”! I listened carefully to discern her every word through her thick Scottish brogue…and watched as she magically mixed her dough to perfection. I now prepare this traditional shortbread every Christmas in her memory and I savor every buttery bite of my favorite “Scotch” cookie!  
Here is my version of this buttery family favorite:





Grandma Jesse’s Real Scotch Shortbread

One stick unsalted butter, softened
One stick salted butter, softened
½ cup caster sugar or granulated sugar ***(see explanation below) ***
8 oz. all purpose flour
4 oz. rice flour
*(if you do not have rice flour, you can use 12 oz. of all purpose flour.)
1 tsp. vanilla (optional…my preference)


1)  Blend sugar and butter together on a board or large bowl ...
(grandma worked these together with her magic hands on a large board until incorporated).
~ This is where I add my vanilla ~

2)  Add flour and work into the butter/sugar mixture until it becomes a crumbly dough...
*(careful not to over mix….(for a nice crisp result)*

Press with your hands into parchment lined pan (I used a 9 inch square).
(a 9 in round  is also nice , and can be cut into triangles (petticoat tails).

Press the dough firmly into pan to ¾ inch thickness.
Prick with a fork to prevent bubbling.
Bake at 275 degrees, approx. 20 – 30 minutes. Oven temperatures vary, so it might take longer…it is important to keep an eye on it and bake until just slightly golden but not brown. 

Remove from oven and allow to cool slightly (approx. 5 minutes) then with a sharp knife, score into squares or small rectangles, then cut through to bottom.  Dust with sugar.  Cool completely before removing cookies to platter or tin. 


the parchment liner
makes it quite easy to simply lift the cookies out at once




*** "Caster sugar" is what they call superfine granulated sugar in Britain.  It was given this name because its grains are smaller and can fit through a "sugar caster" or "sprinkler".  Regular granulated sugar works just fine in this recipe...my choice... because caster sugar is quite expensive - (on occasion, I've actually placed regular sugar in a blender and pulsed it, allowing it to become more fine -
resulting in home-made caster sugar).  So if you ever feel that caster sugar is absolutely necessary, this tip is a great way to go!)...I just don't feel that the extra work in this particular recipe is really needed.*** (just my opinion though)!



I hope you enjoy this quick and easy recipe with its rich, buttery flavor and heavenly melt-in-your-mouth texture!
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